I kinda miss being the person I was when I posted some of these things here. Or have I really changed? I might still be that person, with most of her obsession, hope, sorrow, and anger redirected to something that wasn’t really there before.
I will definitely miss you guys ☺️ (ugh actually no I wanna get the fuck out of here as soon as possible, in the speed of light if I can help it. There aren’t many things that I actually regret, but taking a class with these people? Not a fking chance.
I’m like, the perfectest exemplar of imposter syndrome ever and I knew it. It’s exactly like drowning: you’re suffocating and suffering from knowing you’re suffocating and being unable to do anything about it.
I felt that application was like a treasonous gesture now that I know he really thinks that I can do something great. I am afraid that my performance during the interview might have disappointed him (or at least his protege).
I kinda have this impression... but really, I don’t deserve compliments like that. I don’t think I deserved that after one disastrous presentation. How can anyone have so much faith in me? I don’t understand, but I’m so grateful.